Interesting facts!!

Since the 30,694 Bayern fans are all ignorant... I decided to post some very interesting data from Tyskland for you...

What does "BRD" stand for? Bananenrepublik-Deutschland

Why are there so many bananas in the west? Because the westerners are descended from apes.

What's the difference between a Western necktie and a cow's tail? The cow's tail covers the whole arshole.

How do you double the value of a Trabant? Filling up the tank!

How do you make a Trabant into a sports car? Gym shoes in the trunk!

and finally,

What do you get out of a gypsy (mexican) and a german nazi? A beanerschnitzel!

See... now we all know a lite more about the very nice tysk kultur!

Unemployed, alcoholic and loving it!

Oh Chilly!

Great to hear that you're getting your hands dirty and doing work around the house. I suppose setting up an internet thingie on the roof of a donkey stable is not too hard, a simple search on google for "donkey stable" "wireless internet" and "Gypsieland" should cover most questions. I am still on dial-up internet at my parents house (or should I say "outback kangaroo farm") so Google searches are a little too demanding for such high-speed internet, but I ride my kangaroo to the unemployment office each day and their computers are capable of accessing the internet if you keep peddling the electrical generator.

The Australian government have fast-tracked me into some sort of intensive job search training, which in other words means that they will require me to sit at this computer each day for a couple of hours and listen to them talk about how to write a resume and how important it is to spell your name correctly etc. It's amazing, some of the people I meet each day make the sexy SMG look like an oracle of knowledge and wisdom. The Australian government are very advanced in their cruel and unusual punishment of the unemployed, I get static electrical shocks everytime I touch a door-handle. I ockso make sure to interrupt them and say how outraged I am by the system in Australia and how in New Zealand everything works so much better. Its amazing what you can learn from sheep.

Vi ses

Captain B

German tooth

Well boys... I just arrived from visiting my good old gypsy dentist and I asked him for the strongest and best looking tooth I could possibly get... so he told me that there is a workshop in Tyskland that manufactures really high quality prosthetics... and in spite the waiting time (like a month) and the not very nice price... now I am on my way to have my very first German tooth (even better than pappa´s or sissyboy´s)...

See... now I am on my way to become a real german-gypsy-emperor (lol)

Anyway... things are fine so far.. still doing nothing but wait... you måste be very proud about me since last week I got high-speed internet access but some special installation was required... so I told the stupid gypsy internet clerk girl that I would manage.... Well.. for the first time in my life I went all the way up to the roof of my parents house and installed the "internet" thingy... (After 3 hours, 2 litres of water and 4 calls to the customer centre)... So after risking my life on that corner of death (see the attached picture) I managed to get Kämnärsvägen internet speed + wireless... Mycket bra!!!! Now I am on my way to be the next extra handy gypsy guy of the universe.

Miss you all, take care and vi ses.

Chilly in the Gypsyland

Hej hej!!! I arrived yesterday night mycket trött... The flights were ok and I only paid like hmm... I guess €75 fo excess baggage.

I will have a welcome back dinner party imorgon... Now I am so looking forward to watch the game between the Tyskland and the Italia... so excited...

As you can see now I have a very nice pic of all of us in the graduation party (thats what so many hours of flight bring as a consequence)

Anyway... take care you all

Lycka till Tyskland!!!

A Statement From Your Captain

Hej Hej!

Oh how I miss the Lund, things are just not the same when you live with your parents in the suburbs in a city in the arse-end of the world. Apart from missing the company of my Lundian friends, one of the most frustrating things is my inablilty to relate to Perth folk in my general conversation. For example, I'm no longer able to use the common Lundian phrases of "Ooohhh... it reminds me of the Kamnarsvagen" whenever I see a run down old building or the adjective of "Wermlands style" when requesting a meal to be both burnt and frozen or in semi-viscuous form. I saw a girl wearing tight jins and boots the other day, it reminded me of Pappa...

Anyway I hope Germany beat the Italians so that Frings can punch out a Frenchman in the final.

Captain B