Life in a Banana Republic

Hejsan

Well its old news now in Kangarooland but when I went to the supermarket (Felipe, supermarkets are much like your donkey and taco markets, except we trade currency instead of bottles of tequila for goods) to buy some bananas, it reminded me of the Lund and how there is no substitute for a good banana. In Kangarooland we try to keep inflation (Felipe, inflation is like when you need to trade an increasing number of bottles of tequila per donkey) low, but as we have strange weather patterns and mysteriously feeble flora and fauna, inflation has risen because a cyclone last year ruined our bananalands. Australia is scared of how dirty South and Central American bananas (or "Gypsiebananas" as they are known here) could poison our native animals, so we don't allow imported bananas. This means we are now paying $14 per kilo for bananas (around 8 Euros or 2 bottles of Gypsie tequila) and as there are no substitutes for bananas, the central bank raised interest rates to stop the inflationary pressure. Crazy!

Okay, well apart from complaining about banana prices very little has been happening for me in Kangarooland. I'm still without a job, though this is mainly due to the incredible government bureaucracy involved with appointing people for government jobs. I applied for a job in late June in the government department I used to work in (the Department of Industry and Resources), I was interviewed twice and accepted for job, but they haven't been able to sort out the paperwork and I won't start until October, at the earliest! Meanwhile the government department responsible for giving me unemployment benefits is hassling me about why I haven't got a job yet!

Still, it's not all bad, I received my diploma from Lund University yesterday, so now I can finally prove that I actually did complete a Masters degree in Sweden, not that anyone really checks up on these things in Kangarooland. In fact, the head of one of our local government councils got his job by inventing a "Masters in Urban Planning" degree on his resume and was given a 300 000 Euro payout when the government found out and decided to terminate his contract. Next year I'm enrolling again at the University of Western Australia to complete some courses so that I can do postgraduate study in Kangarooland. However maybe I should just put on my resume that I have already completed my PhD and save some time and money.

Good to hear from you all and I hope things are going well.

Keep in touch.

Captain B.

I hate it as much as doing the dishes!!

Boys... monday night I came to Mexico City to visit a friend of mine that is visiting from Chicago and to my surprise the whole city is like paralysed by stupid and ignorant people. Let me elaborate, there were presidential elections last july and the leftwing party lost and now some couple hundred thousand supporters leaded by the loser candidate are camping and obstructing traffic at one of the most important avenues in the city (Paseo de la Reforma). Its impossible to move by car so I am so outraged by the lack of public sensitivity of all these bunch of stupid people...(who are they, apparently they dont have a life nor they have a job or something to do) anyway if you have no idea what I am talking about read this. Just have a look at the photos and watch the video (in gypsylish).

I am staying at my friends parents house which is very but very close where all of these mess is happening, so now we need to walk everywhere (inte cycklar here) which wouldnt be that bad but the fact is that in the biggest city of the world walking is not really an option...

Anyway, at least the weather is not very hot.

*gypsyverytiredofstupidanduselesspeople*

Only crazy and drunk Swedes talk to strangers

Well as you probably know I'm still looking for a job at the moment and as I receive money from the Government for looking for work, they punish me by forcing me to sit at a computer 4 mornings a week in Fremantle (the port city here in Perth) and look for work. Anyway I went to a coffee shop yesterday in Fremantle and got a great reminder of some Swedish culture that I haven't been missing since returning home. Out the front of the shop there was a group of young Swedish men (not quite the shemales you see in Malmo Nation, but Swedish nonetheless) drinking coffee. I walk in and order my coffee and the two girls at the counter started complaining to me about how rude that group of guys were. Apparently they had been to the coffee shop each of the last 4 days and never made eye contact or conversation. They would walk in, abruptly make their orders for coffee, ask how long it will take, pay their money and leave, without a "please" or a "thank you". I told them that Swedes are not used to receiving customer service and next time they could do the following to make them feel more at home:

• ask them to take a ticket
• tell them that they only serve coffee between 9:45 and 10:45 Monday to Wednesday and between 1:15 and 2:15 on Fridays
• tell them that they have run out of coffee
• tell them that coffee can only be bought if you show 4 pieces of photographic ID and a prescription from your doctor
• just ignore them
• charge them 25% VAT