Prepare for the return of the Captain!

Hejsan

Tack sa mycket for all your posts, in particular Sissyboys' establishment of an official website devoted to sissy games. Since my last post I've been mycket busy with manga things happening in my crocodile hunting life.

In mid-January I flew to Bangkok to meet up with Katri, my mycket tall and delicate female friend from small-town Finland who I met in the Lund. She's my height, has back problems and intolerant towards, lactose, spicy food, hot weather, loud noise and stinky little Turkish people. Given her sensitivities, Bangkok was possibly the worst pace on earth for us to meet and get to know each other, with the possible exception of the donkey slums of Gypsieland (my initial suggestion as a meeting place). We spent most of our 11 days in Bangkok, but made a small trip to Pattaya. Pattaya is a beach town that survives and thrives exclusively on the sex industry, with many old white men with young Thai girls (and She-males), making it ocksa not the best place in the world for us to share time together. Pataka ocksa has an unbelievable amount of Russian tourists, with Russian as the second language in some parts, yet another undesireable characteristic for my Finnish friend.

Well I can happily say that we both survived Thailand, despite the uncomfortable characteristics of Bangkok and Pattaya, and we are trying to work out a way to see each other again some time this year. I expect this will involve me flying to Finland in July-August this year and enjoying their beautiful summer. It's something I've been thinking about and hopefully I will be able to balance it with my work and university (which starts next month). Katri has also contacted the West Australian Symphony Orchestra (she is a professional musician) and there may be an opportunity for her to come to Perth and join the double-bass section.

I'm now living in a shared house and working a second "job" for a private high school college. We all get free rent, meals and other services and volunteer our time supervising boarding school kids. The work is pretty easy and the meals are very good (much like Wermlands food, but cooked) and I'm beginning to enjoy yelling at school kids and abusing my power like a Nazi. In my day-job, not much has changed, I'm still pretending to be busy and it has been working a treat. They have now offered me a permanent job as clearly the division I am in is understaffed as myself and others are always complaining of how busy and stressed we are. There has also been talk of a promotion for me, which would be wonderful as long as it doesn't involve a heavier workload, as of course I am already so busy in my current responsibilities. My boss was a little upset with us at our last divisional meeting as he believed we had "been neglecting our professional development". In other words, our division has a large budget for training courses and if we don't sign up for some and spend the training budget, we may not e able to claim we are under-funded at the next budget meeting. I've signed up for a one day course in a couple of weeks, so my boss is particularly happy with my behaviour.

Okay well that’s about all from me. Hej da from your sceptical kompis fran Australien.

Captain B

Hejsan!

The Blogger thingie was not working for me so Chilly please forward this to alla mina kompis fran lunds family. I had a long post for the Blogger and saved it as a draft, but it disappeared and now won't even let me post on the site, so now I must think of all the things I wrote before.

Since my last post I went to Bangkok to meet my Finnish friend Katri from Lund who I have become close with. Katri is a bit more fragile than the crocodile hunting, bush-tucker man you know as Captain Bentley. Katri is from small-town Finland and is intolerant of lactose, hot food, hot weather, pollution, noise and large crowds of stinky little Thai people. Given her intolerances I thought Bangkok would be a wonderful place to meet. We spent a few days in Bangkok before taking a trip to Pattaya, a small coastal town whose existence is based entirely on the sex industry and a booming Russian tourist population. Katri, as a patriotic Fin, is also intolerant of female (and she-male) prostitution and Russian people. Despite the hostile environment we had a wonderful time and I will definitely be seeing more of her in the future, she's a wonderful girl and an extremely talented musician (she is a professional double-bass player who I met through the Lund Orchestra).

Since returning from Thailand I have moved to a shared house in South Perth, which is owned by an expensive privately run high school. I share the house with Jon and Ina (Jon's girlfriend), who are good friend's of mine and who I met up with in Germany last year for Christmas, plus another guy Chad. It's a huge house and very comfortable. In exchange for letting us stay at the house without any bills (rent, power, phone, etc.), we volunteer 10 hours per week to supervise school children who live at the boarding house on the school campus. We also have all meals provided to us by the school, which are a bit like the Wermlands lunches, only the food is cooked and the cakes are not a glue-like brown substance. The school kids are okay, I also enjoy yelling at them and finding nasty jobs for them to do as punishment for not respecting my authority.

Up until yesterday my plans were to write my honours thesis and return to Europe for a holiday in July this year, before submitting the thesis at the end of the year and applying for PhD programmes in the UK in 2008. All of this changed yesterday as I received notification from the University of Oslo that they want to nominate me for a scholarship to study a 2 year Master in Higher Education from August this year (More info is available on the program here: http://www.uio.no/studier/program/heem-master/). The master program involves studying in 3 countries with semester 1 on Norway, sem 2 in Finland, Sem 3 in Portugal and the final semester (the thesis) to be completed at my choice of institutions, based on supervisors etc. The scholarship and programme is funded by the European Commission through the Erasmus Mundus programme (More info on Erasmus Mundus in general is here: http://ec.europa.eu/education/programmes/mundus/index_en.html). Basically it looks like a good deal of fun and involves an area of study that I am interested in. I expect to accept their offer and be in Oslo in August.
Exciting!

Another surprise occurred this morning when I received an email from Lund University. They want to submit my thesis into a competition for the best thesis during 2006 in a subject related to the European Union. The competition is organised by Centrum för Europaforskning (Centre for European Studies) and there will be 1st, 2nd and 3rd prize. I don't know what the prize will be but I am shocked that they want to nominate me for it. I honestly can't believe what has happened over the past couple of days, it will seriously shape the next few years of my life in the very least.

Well that is the latest news from Down-under. I hope you are all well and tack sa mycket Sissyboy for the wonderful website update. I hope Gamla Pappa did not get a heart attack from the bumtrain photos, such lewd British behaviour would have never been condoned in Communist Germany.

Hej da

Captain B

Gypsie donkey almost killed chilly!!!

Hello boys, it’s been quite a bit since I last posted (ursäkta mig).

Last weekend I went to check on the donkeys (actually horses) since they were moved from the old stables into some new ones. So everything went ok until I arrived back at the stables and when I was ready to get off the saddle and off the horse … he went crazy stood up his rear legs and I felt directly into the cobblestone floor hitting my bum and lower back. After been completely embarrassed I stood up immediately pretending everything was fine or so I thought until Monday night when standing in front of a desk I tried to reach to the other side of it and I felt the most excruciating pain in my lower back. Next day I visited the doctor and got some X-rays and got två inte bra news:

Inte så bra news ett: I have got a condition called lordosis which is not really bad but does increase the inner curve of my lower spine.

Inte så bra news två: My two last vertebrae are tighter and closer than they should be causing in conjunction with the lordosis and the horse event some of my spinal nerves were crushed and trust me… VERY painful… but now taking some anti-inflammatory pain killers so life is getting better and better ;)

Anyway boys take care and keep posting. Hope to see you all pretty soon and to be lucky enough to talk to sissyboy since now I feel like a professional stalker since I am sure I have called him in the last month like 20 times without any success on reaching him. Sissy, you are officially more difficult to reach than Bush + Castro + Putin together. ;)

Miss you all.

News from the Captain Downunder

Hej Hej

Well as you are aware, I have been working in the Western Kangarooland government and dealing with gas issues. Mycket boring, but you have to do something to get money and a job is a job. I'm still not sure what I am supposed to be doing in my job (after over 4 months) as I literally have no work to do. I have asked my boss what work I am meant to be doing, but whenever I ask he gets angry and defensive and lists a series of vague responsibilities which don't actually involve any real work. He usually follows it up with a "that’s what's you've been doing all this time, haven't you!?!", to which I always reply "ja... absolut... tack tack!". I have been told I am responsible for matters relating to an iron ore policy, but that policy does not actually exist. I can not create an iron ore policy because no one knows what an iron ore policy should look like and it’s not my responsibility to create policy anyway. I no longer complain to my boss about having no work to do, I just say that I'm stressed and too busy to discuss what I'm currently working on. I've ockso developed a mycket bra screening process for my phonecalls whereby I don't answer my work phone (generally when the phone rings it means bad news or work) and only return calls between 12:30 and 1:00 when most people are at lunch.

Outside work my life has been alright (not that work is so bad, I don't mind getting paid to do nothing). I've been playing some cricket, but my shoulder is giving me some real problems, so I'm out of action for a while. In some mycket bra good news, on Sunday (14 Jan) I will be flying to Bangkok for a two week holiday. I'm meeting up with a Finnish girl from the Lund orchestra who I have been keeping in close contact with. It will be great to get out of Perth and my work routine for a while. When I get back, I'll be moving into a house owned by an expensive high school in South Perth with some friends. We get free rent, utilities, meals and access to facilities on the campus in exchange for supervising children from the boarding school for 12 hours per week (during school semester). It sounded like a good deal so I will try that out for a while at least.

Academically I'm still on course for my main goal, that being to return to Europe and commence a PhD in management/industrial relations. I've enrolled at the University of WA to complete my honours year (the prep year for a PhD in Australia, much like the magister/"masters" year in Sweden is for Swedish PhD programs) as it will help with my applications to universities in the UK. The industrial relations professors at UWA have strong links with universities in the UK and have indicated that it shouldn't be a problem to get into a PhD program at a good UK university for 2008. As I have no work to do at work, I'm able to dedicate a lot of time to researching my thesis, so I expect everything will go as planned.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a good new years celebration. Please keep in touch with email or posts on this site.

Take care

Captain B

God Jul och Gott Nytt År

Boys!!!

Finally I have got my bärbara datorer back and I am mycket happy.
Anyway... I hope that you all are enjoying your holidays. Hope you post something soon or else I will be forced to trick you and give you some olive oil instead of vodka.

Vi ses

Många thingies

Thingy nummer ett:

After missing like crazy the very good uncooked rolls from Wermlands (actually not really), the very soft and warm willys bread, salted butter and the very unique and happy jubelsalami… I found the other day a very special kind of salami. “Gypsy Salami” which to my regret is Canadian so its not a real gypsy salami… but at least there is a salami to make me jubel once more. See photo taken with my hidden camera

Thingy nummer två:

In order not to lose the very Swedish lifestyle or at least look and not to be far behind from Captain Bentley and his very long hair, low V neck and tight jins… here is a picture of me with some reminiscence of the most pure Malmö or Lunds nation style!

(notice the hat, the tight shirt, and the funny looking vases on the background)

Thingy nummer tre:

The gypsyland is full of funny and crazy traditions, and for the first time in my life I decided to go out to the city and experience these traditions on my own (and it was quite interesting). The day of the death is the Mexican celebration of the deceased… full of colourful skulls mocking death. Också there are some altars which people fabricate in order t

o honour their loved ones full of their favourite food, music, drinks and of these bright orange flowers (the same ones that are used in India for special celebrations like weddings).

Anyway, after taking these exclusive photos only for you boys, I decide to try the local specialties at a very traditional little restaurant…. and that was INTE SÅ BRA… this morning

my stomach was so upset I felt like puking… it was worst than drinking cheap Polish/Swedish/German vodka… so today, even after finding the gypsysalami… I didn’t feel that jubel at all!

Anyway boys, take care and keep in touch.

Have it...

In order to become a professional modern 21st century gypsy I decided to give you the new unreleased album of Robbie Williams (Rudebox). So if you fancy it just click on this link and enjoy it.
(Ursäkta mig boys but the link doesn't work any more. If you really want the file, let me know and I will upload it once more)

Plusieurs choses....

Well boys, apparently now everybody is getting quite busy with the new university semester, working for the gas department or for the communist party (mycket bra och lycka till)

Anyway, as you should know I went to italy last month for my friends wedding and I learned some great lessons of life that I would like to share with you.

1.- Do NOT iron a shirt while you are wearing it, specially if you try to use steam... its inte så bra for your skin.

2.- Do NOT try to use your camera (photo machine for liten Götzi) as fish bait to try to catch some fishes with it

3.- Du MÅSTE use newer thinner and large screen camera for it.

4.- Do NOT travel by plane 24 hours if you are not going to stay at least 5 days... or else you might end up just lite disoriented.

Anyway, after all these knowledge which made me a wiser man I will tell you that now I am on my way to become a professional burglar, since last saturday I lost the keys of my house so I was forced to break in. It was raining heavily but nevertheless I managed to get a ladder and climbed all the way up to my rooms balcony and successfully (but soaked) got into my house. So now I am a more complete gypsy...

I dont know you boys but I have always thought that inflatable dolls were something funny and stupid to give as a gift for your lads to embarrass them and been silly, but last night I discovered this website www.realdoll.com and I realised that given the realistic looks of these dolls (which is even creepy) some people apparently use them not only for silly fun but as their only connection to some sort of "real sex". I would rather be a professional wanker than to use this 7,000 dollar dolls. But I would rather use the doll than to have sex with someone like Nora (which I am sure Peter has some very vivid memories about her).

Anyway, just wanting to share some comments with you, take care and stay in touch.